Alexa's copper colored hair sparkled with fiery, beautiful, highlights. Sweetly she asks her Mother, "Hey Mom, can I go over to Sandy's for Dinner tonight? "Not tonight, honey", Her Mother replies."Grandma is coming over for dinner and I want everyone home". Alexa glared at her Mother. With a toss of her head, Alexa says to her Mother, "I am going over to dinner at Sandy's and then to a movie And I am not going to be home until late. Now give me the keys to the car!" So the above is the perfect example of disrespect and back talk. So how Does a frustrated parent deal with it? The following will outline a step By step method. Most parents want to have peace in the family, and respect.
Step one: recognize what back talk is. Here's how. If it hurts you, it is rude, disrespects you, annoys you, embarrasses you or leaves you feeling helpless, it is back talk!
Step two: choose the best consequence for the behavior. In the above example, Alexa would not be Allowed to go to her friend's house that night. Any back talk or rude behavior would automatically Mean that the child or teenager would not be allowed to do what they had planned!
Step three: enact the consequence! How do you actually do this? In the above example, Alexa's Mother would tell her that she cannot go to the girls house. In a calm voice she should tell Alexa that her behavior Amounts to back talk. Her Mother should also tell Alexa that her back talk is taking up her time, energy, And good will, that her behavior is not acceptable, and that Alexa would not be going to her friend's house. But what if Alexa reacts badly? Well, if the child is accustomed to be allowed to back talk, the child or teen will Probably react badly. You must be prepared for this and be prepared for how you will react to this Should it happen.
Step four: disengage with the struggle from a back talker! How do you do this? Initially, ignore the behavior. If the back talk continues, take the child to his/her room and tell them they must stay in their room. If the child is a teenager, and you cannot physically take them to their room, disengage yourself, and leave their presence.
Remember, a consequence must be logical and fit the crime, so to speak. Another example might be a ten year old saying something disrespectful or rude at dinner such as. How gross! This dinner is inedible and I
Will not eat it! A logical consequence of this behavior is that the rude child is told to leave the table immediately, And also would not be allowed to go with the family to get ice-cream after dinner. Well, you get the idea! Another example would be if a child or teen says in an imperious tone that they are spending the night With their friend and says "I don't care what you say!". In this example, in a calm voice you should tell The child to be prepared to be picked up in a half hour. When you arrive, (if you are married take your spouse), and tell the friend's parents what you are doing and why. Take your child and go home. In the rare event you would need police back up, such as in the case of a rebellious teen, don't hesitate to call right then and there. When you show you have this kind of support, your rebellious child and or uncooperative parents of the child your teen is visiting, will have greater respect for you in the future and will not want to tangle with the police at the door in the future.
If you do not put up with back talk, you will have a peaceful home and children will not grow up to be rude, irresponsible, disrespectful, and essentially terrors. Important tips to remember are the following: Back talk is about attitude and rudeness. Do not discourage honest communication as long as it is polite, respectful and done with good manners.
Once you decide on the consequence, do not negotiate, even if it means the child will miss something that they perceive or you perceive as being very important. Do not give in. If you stand by your decision, you will
Be surprised at the level of respect you will be given, and the politeness, next time around.
Wishing you happy and peaceful days!
Kind regards,
Susan Farmer
Hi! My name is Susan Farmer. On the site are relationship articles that are free and just meant to help others deal with their family or love relationships. Through many years and many struggles I have finally learned a few pearls of wisdom that I would like to share. There are relationship articles such as dealing with how to stop fighting, how to say I'm sorry, how to rebuild relationships, how to deal with outcasts, how to help other families, how to start again, marriage, parenting, teenagers and children, etc. To me a happy family is so important and it is what is most worth fighting for, working toward and learning how to accomplish. Sometimes it is the most difficult thing we will ever have to tackle, but also the most fulfilling and worthwhile. Please visit my website for lots of family articles at http://thesweetinfo.com/family or my main page at http://thesweetinfo.com/ Look on Sundays for a new article to be posted.
I hope you have a happy and sunny day, and many more ahead.
And Kind Regards!
Susan Farmer
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