My family has a problem and it is a problem that runs all too rampant in many small towns across the United States. The nonstop small town rumor mill getting into everybody else's business and if you do not know what's going on just making something up then spreading those rumors around town. My mother and grandmother are rumor mill queens. My own grandmother is so bad that she actually takes claims from the front of the National Enquirer and spread them around as if it is actually true gossip. What is scarier she believes that everything that she reads is true. Scary isn't it? Well what is scarier yet is that there are thousands of people like this. It does not matter how hard you try to keep to yourself, if people do not know what is going on in your life, they will make it up. Even in your own family. It has been a bittersweet pill for me to swallow that is for sure!
I never really believe my mother was as bad as her own mother until a couple of weeks ago when I became victim of this firsthand. It was a Thursday afternoon and my mother called me tell me that my grandmother had been having a difficult time calling me and that every time that she called the phone would say that the number is blocked. She wanted me to get in touch with my grandmother and so I did. I called my grandmother the next Monday and set up a time to come over and visit and drop off some pictures of my youngest baby. First thing I did when I got there was I tried the phone out and dialed my cell phone number and I got a recording saying that the call could not be completed. I then have to explain to my grandmother that I've had the same cell phone number now for over 13 years and that she needed to contact the 800-number left on the recording to find out why the number was blocked but it was nothing on my end and that she did have the correct phone number. Just for good measure, I wrote down all the phone numbers for her including my own cell phone number so that she had it since she had been accusing everybody of giving her the wrong phone number. We chit chatted, spent some time catching up, and talked about the babies. My grandmother asked me about where my husband was and I calmly explained to her that my husband was going to be back from Colorado the next day and was going to be here at least through Easter before he had to go back out to Colorado again for work. He was going back to Colorado for some skid steer work that he had attained. Of course, this was to raise funds for us to move back to Colorado and to leave Iowa for good. She asked how our house hunting was going and I told her we had had not had any luck yet. We are having many problems finding something that was not a total dump. Which was all-true it is just we were no longer looking for homes in Iowa any longer. My girls were getting impatient and I had to cut the visit short so that we could take off and get back home.
That evening after we had returned home, I get a text message from my cousin, who was just up to visit my grandmother dropping off her rent check. She said you are never going to believe what grandma thinks! Grandma is convinced that you and Mark are split up and that Mark has left you and is staying in Colorado. I was flabbergasted. Seriously, this is the last thing I need right now. On the other hand, I should also not feel bad about leaving Iowa anymore. So my cousin told me she did everything she could to try to convince my grandma otherwise. She even showed her pictures of our happy family on Facebook from my husband's most recent visit home from Colorado. Nothing she did could convince my grandmother otherwise, she was convinced that we had split up. She was not going to take anyone else's word.
What do you say to this? What can you even think of this? How is this happening to me? All of these questions go flying through my head. I am in a fury, seeing red, and I can even barely think straight. I immediately called my mother and I confront her directly about what is this bullshit I hear about grandma spreading rumors about Mark and me being split up? My mother immediately goes into her full defensive mode where she starts talking fast and then blaming other people. She really points the blame to my aunt and uncle who ironically enough were out of town when this happened, as well as to my cousin. In fact, the particular cousin who actually told me that this was going on was the one that she chose to blame. I knew I had my guilty party. Her next tactic in trying to push the blame is to change the subject and uses a totally irrelevant comparison to the situation. She tries to tell me to know how many times people talking around town said that my business was going bankrupt and that it was going to be closed. This only puts me off more. I immediately asked her what does that have to do with the price of tea in China Mom? I do not give two shits about what everybody in town has to say about me. They can talk all they want! The problem here is that my own family made up something that was false and is now spreading it amongst other people including other members of my own family. THEN to make matters even worse, if this had been true instead of my family rallying around me and asking me if I need help, or if I am okay, is there anything we can do to help you? No, instead they are talking see about me behind my back and rather than having the balls to just come talk to me and asked me themselves what is actually going on. They make stuff up and then spread it. What am I to do with that? Of course, since I have confided my mother on this. She has been kissing my butt nonstop. She has been asking if she can do anything to help me out. Of course, these are all weak attempts to try to make this right. What is worse is she really does not mean what she is saying either, she will not help if I need it. That has already been made obvious. To make matter worse, since then I found out that my uncle as well as my mother and my grandmother are all three contributing to this rumor.
I definitely think one of the worst things about growing up is finding out how truly crazy your family really is. Every day that I am back in Iowa I asked myself how in the hell did I ever forget why I left here? I can tell you now I am never to forget this experience and I cannot wait to get back to Colorado! I have only told my cousins and my close friends that I am moving back to Colorado. My immediate family still has no idea and I have less than a month left to stay here. I have decided that I am not going to tell them unless they ask. I figured it is a lesson for them to learn for making stuff up about me. I figure why would they want to hear the truth from me? It is obvious they do not want it, I am always accessible to talk to. I even moved 851 miles to be more accessible to my family! I figure now there is no reason for me to volunteer any information to them if they want to know about what is going on in my life. They need to make an effort and just asked me! I figure what is the point as they would rather makeup what is going in my life anyway. There is no sense in me wasting air.
Now do not get me wrong, I am all about great gossip. I am guilty of spreading it as well. However, I do not believe that nor do I condone the participation in making crap up about people and spreading rumors. People do enough crazy enough stuff as it is! Do you really need to make stuff up about them? I hate getting false information that is not true. There is no reason for rumors, and you should make it a point to spread the truth and nothing but the truth.
It is going to be a tough lesson learned. No matter what I say to my grandmother, uncle and my mother I'm sure they will find some way to make this my fault, and I will be the jerk for not telling them I am moving. Oh well, at least I know now that my babies, my husband and me are all better off far, way from here. I have better things to do than sit around waiting for other people to die and making up rumors. There are better ways to live and I am confident to say that we don't belong here. I am glad I will never have to wonder if we made the right decision, as my own family has already confirmed it for me that we are. I'm leaving and never I am never looking back again.
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