It was during one of my antenatal visits to my doctor, that I realized that the constant nudges, kicks and the overwhelming presence of a living being I kept feeling, actually belonged to a stranger. A nameless, faceless stranger who is dearer to me than any other thing in this whole, big world. I'm surrounded with people all around, but only I am aware of its presence!
As a romantic and sensitive girl, I am used to loving people and things that have appealed to my sensory perceptions and creative and intelligent aspect. And even after questioning myself repeatedly over and over again, I couldn't explain my overwhelming love, and unquestionable feeling and passion for something that is as abstract to me as far as the meaning of the word goes!
May be that's what being a mother means! Each one of us must at some point of time, have heard from our mothers, "you will understand this, when you will be a mother yourself."
YES mom, I understand. I understand very well.
Now, I know what it means to love unconditionally, what it takes to bear a lot of pain to keep one life safe and cocooned from the "aggressive, unfavorable world" (believe me, it takes nothing at all!); how sacrifices, however big or small, seem minuscule when compared with those nudges or caresses.
Ever heard that every time you feel someone nudging or nagging, instead of getting irritated you smile? And you miss those nags when they don't come for a long time! Readers may find it strange or even pathetic, but the experienced one (read MOTHERS!) would know what I mean!
Physiologically speaking, the unique requirements that your growing fetus places on your placenta, creates alterations for the aesthetic management of your pregnant body. During the whole course of pregnancy and birth, there are physiological and anatomical changes in your body. The ever increasing demands of pregnancy hormones, the metabolic demands of the fetus, placenta and uterus bring about these changes. The cardiovascular output increases, blood pressure ranges from low blood pressure in early pregnancy to high blood pressure in late pregnancy; total volume of the lungs decreases; the gastrointestinal system is affected; endocrinal hormones are at an all-time high; and all this to adjust the new life taking its form within you.
Psychologically speaking, whole new arrays of conflicting emotions are at your disposal. Fear, anxiety, ecstasy, happiness, anticipation, expectations, and irritation all roll in one to make you a new person. The fear of losing your baby, the anxiety of not being able to take care of the baby, ecstasy of nurturing a living proof of your love within yourself, happiness of having your own bundle of joy, anticipations of a new yet challenging and different life, expectations (and sometimes as irrational as they can be) from your partner, and irritation at your husband. Blame it all on your hormones. Marked with disturbing and elating dreams, the inception of motherhood is the beginning of a remarkable journey of you as person and life as a dream!
Motherhood entails with it all that you ever thought yourself capable of. It brings with it the realization of your real self and helps you to recognize that there is someone you can love more than your life, even if it's a "stranger within you!"
Pooja S. Banerjee is a pharmacist by profession, and an academician and researcher! Her passion for writing has made her foray into the world of content and medical writing!
