Establishing Positive Relationships With Professional Services For Your Special Needs Child

This article discusses the role that professionals and other support services play in the lives of special needs children and their families. The reason I chose this topic to discuss is because

whether you like dealing with professionals or not, you need outside help so that your child gets the expertise he or she needs to develop at all levelsrelationships can be tense or distant with some professionals or support services but it really is in your child's best interests to avail of any treatments and interventions recommended

Firstly do not be intimidated by professionals or support personnel due to their qualifications or manner. Also do not think you are being troublesome by asking what you think are too many questions.

Some parents will take a different approach and want professional to make most of the decisions about their child. This is fine too. Others however want a shared role in the decision-making process.

It is up to you as a parent of a special needs child to decide what approach you would like to take. Of course you are free to change course along the way too to whatever works best.

If you have to go for a meeting, write down or mentally go through what exactly needs to be asked or said during that meeting. Be very clear what is most important to you and what is negotiable.

Ask for clarification if you are unsure of anything and listen well. Do not be afraid to mention any new research, ideas, concepts etc and ask for feedback on any items you raise.

Learn new terminology and do not be afraid to ask questions and ask the meaning of terminology of phrases that may be used by professionals in relation to your child.

Write down questions before your meeting and more as the meeting progresses if you do not want to ask straight away. Stay focused and do not allow yourself to become distracted.

Help others at the meeting also stay focused by referring to your child specifically by their name. Do not give up too early If you are dissatisfied. See what can be improved upon and prepare for the next meeting. It is important to stay calm and positive at all times.

Ask for and get written copies of documents from professional services. Save them in one place and keep them safe for ongoing review. Alternatively if you are not organised, get a box and put everything in for safe keeping.

Try to recognise that each of the teachers, doctors, professional services or support staff are just one part of the solution for your child. The support, encouragement and unconditional love you put into your child will reap the most reward.

If you would like to know more about being the best parent you can be for your special needs child, download my free guide "Care for the Carer-A Short Guide To Parenting Special Needs Children" at http://www.parenting4specialneeds.com/

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What The Dog Whisperer Has To Do With Your Relationships?

I love to watch Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer. I have learned so much from his encounter with unruly, aggressive, fearful, obsessive and controlling dogs. Cesar Millan's philosophy is that dogs live in the present. They don't care about the past or the future. It is normal for us, dog lovers, to feel bad when we hear that sad stories of dogs that had been abused or had a really bad owners. We feel sorry for the dog and we start to huminized the dog. Cesar Millan said that when you feel sorry for your dog you are displaying weak energy and the dog is not going to respect you because you are not the pack leader. The dog is going to take that position because you are weak and as a result you are going to have dogs with aggressive and behavioral problems. But what does all these have anything to do with your relationships?

We, humans, most of the time live in the past or the future. We are most concern with what our partner, spouse, friend, parents or family member did to us in the past and we miss those great small signs telling us to live in the present. We feel angry and sorry for ourselves (are you familiar with pitty parties?), therefore our energy becomes weak and then the feelings of resentment, anger and hate become our "pack leaders". Needless to say, you become bitter, aggressive and start having behavioral problems. Ok, you might not chew your wife/husband shoes but you can definitely feel like chewing somebody's head off, sometimes.

So, how do we live in the present? From my own experience dealing with difficult people, I have to say "forgiveness". Forgiveness helps us live in the present. When we forgive and forget, we don't have any other option but to live in the present. Forgiveness does not equal to condoning the act. Forgiveness is a gift of freedom for you. When you hold grudges, resentments and negative feelings, you are hurting yourself. You are your own jailer. The other person(s) keeps living their lives and you live as a prisoner in your own jail with the key to freedom in your hand.

I know it is hard to forgive someone(s) that we allowed to hurt us, but lets be selfish! Lets forgive and forget, it is for us. For our own freedom! Lets live in the present and be happy!

Erlin Annette Monrouzeau is a Life and Business Coach. She has a BA in Psychology and a Masters Degree in Forensic Psychology. Erlin Annette has worked with attorneys and other professionals. She is known as the Clarity Coach, helping women and men make a living with a purpose. Visit her blog at http://www.stopsabotageblog.com/

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